5 Reasons We Don’t Keep Separate Finances After Marriage

My wife and I decided to combine our finances when we got married.

It simply made the most sense to us.

Some people argue couples should also keep their finances separate. We respectfully disagree.

Here’s why we decided against keeping our finances separate.

We Have the Same Financial Goals

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t have the same goals, financial or otherwise, as I do.

My wife and I just want to live a decent lifestyle while making sure we are prepared for the future. We don’t want to incur debt unless absolutely necessary. We want to be able to retire comfortably and are willing to save a decent chunk of money now to be able to do so.

If you and your future spouse don’t have similar goals when it comes to your finances, you’re likely going to get in a few money fights.

Even if your finances are separate, you’ll eventually have to face the music if your spouse isn’t on the same financial page as you.

We Don’t Want to Create Resentment

If we kept separate finances, we’d likely get tired of the income inequality between us.

What would happen if my wife becomes a major saver due to having a higher income? I might decide to spend all my money because I would know she has savings.

I might expect her to treat me to dinners and vacations because she has money available in her savings when my account balance shows $0. That wouldn’t be fair to her but it’d seem like a good alternative in my eyes.

We’re A Team – Our Money Should Act That Way

On a more basic level when you become married you become a team for life. If you’re a team for life why wouldn’t you want your money to act like a team as well to maximize its potential?

Often, separate finances means little communications about finances. Having separate finances could easily lead to duplicate effort or a non optimal use of each person’s money.

Separate Finances Makes It Easier To Hide Financial Problems

If you keep your finances completely separate, chances are you’ll never talk about your financial situations with each other. Even if you do, chances are that you’ll never see the complete picture of the financial situation your spouse is in. Why?

You kept your finances separate for a reason.

If you can’t co-mingle your finances and agree how to spend money together, you’d probably hide the part your of your finances your partner would argue with you about. After all, those fights are why you keep your finances separate right?

It Wouldn’t Work For Retirement

Retirement is even messier with separate finances. Unless we both had the same goals for retirement and we both saved a good chunk of our separate money for retirement, it just simply wouldn’t work.

We’d likely end up retiring at significantly different times. We’d retire with different sized nest eggs that would lead to different amounts of money to spend.

If we were able to deal with the financial fights, one person would probably end up supporting the other person, at least to a point. There would probably be at least a bit of resentment.

Wouldn’t you be upset if you saved aggressively for retirement and then gave most of your money to the other spouse so they can keep spending like they have their whole life? You’d never reap the full benefits of all of your hard work saving for retirement.

Separate finances just didn’t make sense for us.

So what do you do or plan to do? Do you have separate finances? Do you combine your finances? How does it work for you?

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